VampiresDontSuck

Count Vlad Dracula

12 Watchers15 Deviations

2.5K

Pageviews

Latest Deviations

See all

BLOG TEN by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

BLOG TEN

Greetings, So, the New Year has come upon us at last, or should I say, the end has come at last..? Supposedly, my children, the World as we know it is going to end this year, and the Humans are, as usual, taking it way too seriously. Now, I have seen many, many ends of the World, but this, this is ridiculous! Humans are building bunkers, selling off everything they own, and repenting out of their asses in hopes that they are spared from the apocalypse. As I see it, if the apocalypse is coming, there is no way to stop it. Well, unless you're me. Honestly, if the World is going to end, I'm going to be the one to do it. Vampires are quite capab

BLOG TEN by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

BLOG TEN

Blog Nine by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

Blog Nine

Greetings my masses of minions, I have returned from a rather unexpected holiday, that quite frankly, I never want to go on again. My brides decided that we should travel this new World, since technology has taken over, things are very different. I had no idea I needed a degree in Rocket Science just to get a Coke from a vending machine! Nonsense all of it, but in a few decades it will all pass, and we shall go back to the glory days of the horse a buggy. All in all, it was a terrible journey. If it wasn't raining, it was sunny. If it wasn't snowing, there were hunters. I never got a moment to relax! And being as old as I am, though I am st

Blog Eight by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

Blog Eight

Greetings Humans. I detest April Fools day, especially when I get here and see that almost everything has become Twilight covered. It was sickening. Now, I understand it was a prank and that all has been restored to normal, but, I feel that REAL Vampires should have been used. We tend to get a better reaction where ever we go. Luckily, I was stuck with that Lady Gaga character. I'd take her over those sparkling things any day .. Well, actually, I'd take her anyway... Winter here has been rather harsh this year. My skin is dry, but still sexy smooth and luscious. Unfortunately, my brides have not been as fortunate, they're peeling like liz

Blog Seven by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

Blog Seven

Greetings humans, I hope everyone had a glorious holiday thing. I certainly did not. I had to have the family over to the castle.. I will NEVER do that again. Though, I'm sure my brides will insist... Not that they run my castle, I am the KING of my castle.. And funk. I have just been informed that I am not the king unless I decide to do dishes.. Do these hands look like they have ever touched a dirty dish!?! Moronic women. Once again, I have been informed that I am now 'on the couch' for the week. At least I'll finally get some piece and quiet! Going back to having family over.. My cousin, who I swear was grown in a laboratory somewhere

Blog Six by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

Blog Six

Greetings Humans, You all must forgive me for being absent for such a very long time. I've actually been held up in my summer home, fighting for my life. Well, actually, I was never losing. I NEVER lose. It seems some upstart hunters decided to ruin my last vacation of the summer. Well, because of them, I had to listen to three women gripe for six months. But not to worry my children, I made sure they paid for that. Unfortunately, this will be rather short. My brides are beckoning me to come into the grand living area to open gifts.... Sigh .... Lucky for me, I returned home just in time for this damned Christmas thing again. Didn'

Blog Five by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

Blog Five

Greetings Humans. Forgive me for my long absence, the holiday season has been a true nightmare. Why is it that humans feel the need to be kind on one particular day of the year? I had at least twenty fools knock on my castle door, in the worst blizzard we've had in decades, to give me something called a 'fruitcake'. I don't recommend eating them. Though, they make wonderful throwing objects, especially effective against household pests, particularly those annoying family members that won't leave. Even after you toss them out on their asses... As I was saying, why must the humans bring me gifts? I own everything wonderful, why would I need

Blog Four by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

Blog Four

Greetings Humans, I have returned with another blog. I know, all of you are so very pleased. Since I'm some what retired, I have become a bit of a movie buff. The latest movie I enjoyed, was Dracula : Dead and Loving It from Mel Brooks. I must say, he has quite the imagination. I found out, about half way through, that this movie is based on Bram Stoker's book, which I have in my private collection. The Dracula playing me, is quite amusing. I enjoyed his shadow the most. My brides, however, have no taste in movies. They decided to watch a romantic movie, The Notebook. Bah. Cheesey, sappy, and predictable. I have more romance in my little fin

See All

Featured Gallery

See all

BLOG TEN by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

BLOG TEN

Blog Nine by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

Blog Nine

Blog Eight by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

Blog Eight

Blog Seven by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

Blog Seven

Blog Six by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

Blog Six

Dracula's Blog by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

Dracula's Blog

Hello Humans. I am the legendary count Dracula. The most glorious of all counts, and vampires. Some of you may be wondering why I have a common human blog, and why it's here. Well, I just figured out how to use this contraption called the Inter- Web, and this was the first place to pop up on this Google thing. What is a Google anyway? Some sort of creature? Well, whatever it is, it's smarter than it sounds. I'm not sure what to do on this blog thing. My son said to let all my anger out here, if I did that, it wouldn't be here. I'm sure you're all wondering what a magnificent person like me could be angry at, well, you have no idea. I would

Blog Two by VampiresDontSuck, literature

Literature

Blog Two

Greetings Humans. As I promised, I am here to rant about the book Twilight. I dislike this book with a passion. First, vampires do not sparkle in the sunlight. We do not sparkle, period. We are no relation to Tinkerbell. If we go out in the sunlight, we combust. Plain and simple. We catch on fire and die. End of story. Even if we did 'sparkle', it wouldn't be called sparkling, it would be called solar flares. Yes, I Dracula, if ever shoved out into the sunlight would create the most magnificent solar flare ever recorded by science. Second, we have fangs. If we didn't, we wouldn't be vampires. We like biting things, we do not hesitate becau

Watchers 12

Hades-Angel13

winterelf86

AllelujahLOUISE

clopintrouillefan

BlueCerinthe

Anime-Fanatics-101

Angelwolfsfire

Sahkmet

Sakura2811

DAiZEplz

xDhampir

MissyZero

Watching 9

pullingcandy

Anime-Fanatics-101

Angelwolfsfire

Sahkmet

MonochromeReflection

Sakura2811

DAiZEplz

MissyZero

xDhampir

About VampiresDontSuck

See all

Romania
Deviant for 15 years
He / Him

Badges

My Bio

Egotistical, narcissistic, pompous, vain, and pure evil. I am the epitome of man kind. If you look up 'sex' in the human dictionary, my name would be there in bold.
I am the master of the Universe, and dead sexy.
I am also the president of Fonzie Lovers Anonymous. Bow down!

Current Residence: Ye Olde Castle In Romania
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Just Right
Favourite genre of music: Gothic.
Favourite photographer: I Cannot Be Photographed
Operating System: Quill Pen And Parchment
Shell of choice: My Coffin
Wallpaper of choice: Ones With Bat Patterns
Skin of choice: Pale And Sexy
Favourite cartoon character: Batman
Personal Quote: You Cannot Kill Me. I'm Already Dead. -Cackle.-

Favourite Visual Artist

Myself . I Paint Good

Favourite Movies

Dracula, Of Course.

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Menstrels. The Harpsichord. Carillon.

Favourite Writers

Myself. I Type Grammar Good

Favourite Games

Russian Roulette

Favourite Gaming Platform

Hangman's Platform. The True Game Of Hangman

Tools of the Trade

Fangs. Swords. Knitting Needles.

Other Interests

Blood. Wenches. My Coconut. Knitting.

Profile Comments 51

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

winterelf86

Oct 12, 2010

You sir. Are awesome

Thank you my dear.

XD! Hilarious

Indeed, I am the epitome of comedy, though I was being completely serious.

That brat of mine has too much love these days! Perhaps I should put him back into day care like in the good old days so I can keep my eyes on him.

I was also serious about this Mael person.